June 16th, 2005


Well, I'm heading out to DIGRA, despite really not being in the mood to meet, greet and socialize. My sense of academic accomplishment is still sufficiently fragile that I'm a little nervous about talking to all the researchers there. I'm almost sure I'll meet people who are going to make me feel stupid, lazy and uneducated about my field, and that's a feeling I don't like. The best solution, of course, is to continue gaining confidence about my work and my abilities, but somehow hiding under the bed all weekend sounds way more appealing.

Nevertheless, I have a flight heading out of Newark in about three hours. Did I mention it's a really long flight to Vancouver? And really expensive? I can think of better things to be doing with that money. Like buying my boyfriend unspecified birthday presents.

I'm sure I'll be fine - actually, likely more than fine - once I get there. I tend to be pretty good at putting on my extrovert face when I have to. I just dread having to.

At least I've got research to talk about. This is a good thing. When I used to go to GDC while I was freelancing in the games industry, I hated having to explain over and over that I wasn't full-time anywhere. I have an identity now! Or at least a steady source of funding and support!

And now I am rambling. I should go pack.

There will probably be internet at the conference, so this isn't really goodbye - but I'll be back Monday night, and will see those of you in New York then!
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