It feels very strange to have woken up this morning without planning where I can find the time to do my writing quota for the day.
(You know why I don't have to plan my writing quota? Because I'm fuckin' done, that's why. Sorry. I may be a little annoying on this topic for a while.)
Of course, now I'm living with the novel-writing aftermath.
Item one: my back and wrists seem semi-permanently sore (though Crys is super-smart and her Saturday night massage may have been what made it possible for me to finish with a whole sixteen hours to spare). This is not good, considering that I still have to spend manymany hours a day in front of the computer.
Item two: I haven't seen some of my friends in, well, a month, and that's no good. I think that Dana was starting to wonder whether I'd secretly moved to LA until yesterday, and my weekly date with my best friend from college fell by the wayside in, oh, week one. Oops. On the other hand, she's writing a novel too, so I think she's been pretty willing to cut me some slack. I haven't given immaculatepizza the attention he needs right now either, but if he gets his ass out of bed I'm supposed to have lunch with him today, so that's a good start. (Get up and call me, Anthony!)
Item three: Gloria Mundi has definitely suffered - sorry, guys! I haven't been doing the writing and thinking that I usually do when developing a game. Thank Juno for thran, that's all I have to say.
Item four: I don't think I've made more than a couple of non-novel-related posts to this journal - and while that wouldn't ordinarily bother me, a lot of stuff has been going on in my life that I want to write about. Since I started blogging almost two years ago (and can I still call it blogging if I use LJ to do it? Hmmm), I've felt like it's a good way for me to record the things I'm thinking about, from the mundane details to links I want to go back to to ideas for projects to, well, just about anything. I used to keep a writer's notebook (and have a whole shelf of 'em), but blogging kind of replaced them for a while. If I don't start writing here again, I'll have to go back to using a notebook (and then y'all will miss my brilliant outpourings), because I have ideas for projects, good lines I want to use someday, and all sorts of other things that I hate not to have recorded. I use those notebooks on a regular basis for inspiration of various kinds, so I don't want to get out of the habit of keeping them. I do think I might need to start keeping a jot-it-down notebook again for when I'm away from my computer, though.
Item five, and this is the one that's really bothering me: I haven't been as focused on my getting-paid-for-it work in November, to the point where I haven't finished a project that I should have easily been able to finish a week ago. It's not like I haven't been doing the minimum - but I haven't been doing much more than the minimum, either, and that makes me feel really bad. I have all kinds of issues about my feelings about work - legacy of several bad bosses who made me feel like I was a bad worker, which is ridiculous because I'm very smart and dedicated, but right now I'm feeling kind of bitten on the ass by my choices in the last month. Even as I say this, though, I have to note that this isn't something I'm capable of being particularly objective about. So there.
On the other hand - and this outweighs all the items above - I wrote a fucking novel. And you know what? It's not so bad. It's exciting, adventurous, humorous, has entertaining characters, and isn't so badly written. It's not publishable, I don't think, but that's okay. That was never the point. I've always thought I couldn't write fiction, and the point was to find out whether I can. And you know what? I can. So maybe my next big project will be to write a more serious novel in the spring.
Actually, I think I have a December project (other than gift-giving, which I really, really enjoy). As I seem to be on this writing kick, I want to come up with a poem seed every day - and not just any poem seed, but one for my Bible series. I had kind of given up on that for a while, but I've had to reevaluate recently: several of the poems are being published and I'm in the running for a number of poetry fellowships. I stopped writing poetry because, frankly, talentless poets really fucking annoy me and I didn't want to be one - but I'm starting to suspect that maybe I'm not without talent after all.
Wow, watch me spew. My mind seems to be tuned to produce large quantities of words on little-to-no notice. Funny, that. -g-