Kleene Star (kleenestar) wrote,
Kleene Star

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More Places I Should Be

I think I have the problem of thinking the grass is always greener, or at least really attractively green, on the other side: I've recently started second-guessing my decision to go to Columbia every time I hear about an interesting job, opportunity or project. Last week, I was kicking myself for not becoming an Eyebeam fellow; today, I'm furious that I didn't apply to the PLAY Institute.
Of course, there are a dozen good reasons for both decisions. For one thing, I want to live in Europe, but not in Sweden - I would shoot myself sometime in mid-December of the first winter. For another, Eyebeam is way too unstructured for me until I have ideas about concrete projects that I want to make. But at the same time, I can't help looking at choices that I haven't made and feeling a sense of deep regret and a little bit of worry. I think it's the commitmentphobe in me.

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