Okay, I am totally procrastinating because I don't want to write my paper draft for this journal issue that I somehow thought it would be a good idea to volunteer for. I thought I had a pretty good idea, and I still think I do. I just wish it weren't so hard to get a couple of thousand coherent words out of it. -g-
= CURRENTLY =
Current mood: Procrastinatory!
Current music: Jess Tardy, torchy jazzy music with very clever lyrics (I'm a big fan!).
Current taste: The remnants of my breakfast apple and blueberry yogurt, which tastes less good in the aftermath than you might think.
Current hair: Down, kind of messy, and I'm going to have headphone hair by the end of the day.
Current clothes: Jeans, white t-shirt, black shoes, little necklace with pretty amber beads.
Current annoyance: Needing to write my INNOVATE paper.
Current smell: Apple core.
Current thing I ought to be doing: Writing the INNOVATE paper, or working on my midterms, or answering email, or looking for a summer job . . . wait! This is depressing!
Current windows open: Semagic (my LJ client), AIM, iTunes, 2 internet (1 research, 1 livejournal), Word document with INNOVATE paper draft in it.
Current desktop picture: Katamari Damacy wallpaper!
Current favorite band: I don't think Amalia Rodrigues counts, so let's go with Ozomatli.
Current book: I'm between books! Oh no! (Actually, I don't dare pick up anything that I actually want to read until I finish midterms. Blargh.)
Current cd in stereo: Jess Tardy's "Waiting For You."
Current crush: My boyfriend. How boring yet romantic. :)
Current favorite celeb: Do authors or game designers count? 'Cause I really couldn't care less about most celebrities, even the ones my friends tend to go all fangirl/fanboy over.
Current hate: Having to get up in the morning. Why can't there be six more hours in the day for me to sleep during?
= DO YOU =
Smoke?: Cigars, very (very!) occasionally.
Do drugs?: Um, no.
Have sex?: Yes, please.
Give oral sex?: I've always enjoyed that.
Receive oral sex?: The TMI police is preventing me from giving you my whole oral-sex saga, so we'll just leave that with a yes.
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: More than a few - though I was just reading that when we think we have recurring dreams, it's rarely because the dreams themselves are actually recurring, and actually because the same brain regions are being stimulated. Weird.
Remember your first love?: Painfully.
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: I think I have a few straight friends somewhere . . . .
Believe in miracles?: I certainly think it's possible to define nearly any event as a miracle, if it's unexpected enough. But angels-and-trumpets change-the-world miracles? Um, no.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Forever? As in heat-death of the universe? No way - but for one human lifetime, I do think that's possible. Not for everyone, and not in every situation, but it's certainly a possibility.
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yes in big ways, no in little ways. I'm the kind of person who will be annoyed to the point of screaming by, say, someone chewing with their mouth open - but be willing to tolerate and accept big-picture faults, flaws and failures. As long as the person is not trying to be cruel and has not done irretrievable harm to someone else, I can generally find a way to deal with it.
Consider love a mistake?: Yes, sometimes, but it's not a mistake you can un-make so why worry about it?
Like the taste of alcohol?: Only sometimes. Scotch, yes; beer, no.
Have a favorite candy?: Red licorice bits, or the little nonpareil things with the white dots on the top.
Believe in astrology?: I think it can be a useful tool for reflection, but I certainly don't think it has either truth or predictive powers.
Believe in magic?: I'd take a lot of convincing, but I wouldn't categorically rule it out.
Believe in God?: That's a complicated question, but the short answer is that I do. Kind of.
Have any pets: My kitty babies! Trouble is gray and queenly; Lyra is stripey and bouncy. (And, until next week, there's shy-and-furry Hunter, but he's a temp-o-cat.)
Do you go or plan to go to college: Yup, I went to college, and I'm back in grad school again for the second time. I like this whole school thing.
Have any piercings?: Ears, and I'm still planning a nose piercing when I can make up my mind about what side to do it on.
Have any tattoos?: Nope. I think most tattoos look kind of tacky, actually. My friends have excellent taste but I wouldn't want to copy them, and I wouldn't trust myself to pick one that would actually look good in the long run.
Hate yourself: Sometimes, but it's a habit I'm trying very hard to break.
Have an obsession?: Um, books? Actually I have any number, but books are the most visible and least embarassing. :)
Wish on stars?: Not since I moved to New York - you can't see the stars here!
Care about looks?: Yup.
= LOVE LIFE =
Do you have a crush or boy/girl friend?: Oh, just the same old same old most wonderful guy in the universe (tm).
And his/her name would be?: Boy!
Do you talk to them often?: Every day, and I get very cranky if I can't.
How old is she/he?: Precisely six months younger than me, to the day. Ain't that cute?
How far have you gotten with this person?: To a point of love, total trust, and complete intimacy.
How far are you willing to get?: As far as I'm ready to go. And if that wasn't ambiguous I don't know what is.
First crush: David G., age 8. He came over for lunch and my mother yelled at me for eating with my hands. Humiliation!
First boy/girlfriend: Ari, age 14. He was four years older than me and totally gorgeous. I felt like the queen of the world.
First kiss: Avraham, age 15. And I was considered a big slut because I kissed a guy. Oops. :)
Do you believe in love?: Sure . . . but not as the redemptive force this question usually implies. I believe it exists - how's that?
Ever been in love?: Yup, still in it.
Must a kiss be sacred?: Why would it be? That's a weird question.
Must sex be saved for marriage?: No, but that's a much less weird question.
How long was your longest relationship?: 8 years and counting!
How long was your shortest?: Um . . . a week?
Do you believe in love at 1st sight, or is it just extreme attraction?: I think you can fall in love with someone from gaining some insight into who they are - like I did with my boy - and that certainly could be the first thing you ever see about a person. But it rarely is; most "love at first sight" is actually just lust.
Do you believe in "the one?": Yes! Neo is my hero!
= JUICY STUFF =
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: Sure. Who hasn't played "take all your clothes off and run around in the sprinkler"?
Have you ever been intoxicated?: Every time I have a glass of wine, baby.
Favorite place to be kissed?: In Central Park, in the summer sun.
Have you ever been caught "doing something?": Oh yes. And that is NOT a story I tell just anyone.
Are you a tease?: Nope. If I want something, you're gonna know about it.
Shy to make the first move?: Not unless I think you're not interested.
= APPEARANCE: =
Hair: Very dark brown with reddish highlights.
Eyes: Brown with little gold flecks. My boy forbids me to call them "diarrhea brown" but that's how I think of 'em.
Height: 5'3" in shoes. I am not short!
= LAST THING YOU: =
Bought: A chicken sandwich for Rob, our resident paintin' genius.
Ate & drank: Instant ramen and delicious tea.
Read: "Game Design as Narrative Architecture," by Henry Jenkins. And it's for school!
Watched on TV: . . . I don't watch TV?
= EITHER / OR: =
club or houseparty: House party, especially if it's at my house.
beer or cider: Tasty, tasty cider!
drinks or shots: Drinks, unless it involves vodka, in which case I mostly want to get it over with, unless it's the really good vodka Dan gave us . . . .
cats or dogs: Meow!
single or taken: Taken. Sorry, boys (and ladies!).
pen or pencil: Pen. Uniball Vision Elite, to be exact.
gloves or mittens: Bright orange leather gloves.
food or candy: Food! Ew sweet things.
cassette or cd: No, I do not still live in the eighties.
coke or pepsi: Le Coca.
this or that: This? No, wait, maybe that . . . .
= WHO DO YOU WANT TO: =
kill: I don't think I can answer this either facetiously or seriously. Let's just say that I would like to see more justice in this world, but do not feel that it is my place to mete it out.
get really wasted with: This is an easier one - probably Anthony. :)
look like: Me, circa 1995 (post-bad hair, pre-weight gain).
be like: Intellectually? Grimm. Emotionally? Chris. Physically? Jackie Chan.
avoid: My parents, right now.
= LAST PERSON YOU =
talked to: Gus, about cognition and gameplay.
hugged: Rob. I needed a hug. Badly.
instant messaged: My boy! Who is so wonderful!
kissed: My boy! This morning, as I was very sleepily trying to wake up.
= WHERE DO YOU =
eat: These days, it's mostly either at home or at the game lab. I'm trying to save money by eating out less, and I'm spending enough time in the lab that I'm eating about a third of my meals up there.
cry: In bed, with the covers over my head and as many kitties as possible gathered under them.
wish you were: Morocco. Anyone want to go with me to Morocco?
= HAVE YOU EVER... =
Dated one of your best friends?: I think I started dating him and best-friending him around the same time, but that counts, right?
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: Embarassingly enough, yes. I hate admitting that I have a romantic streak.
Drank alcohol?: Sure.
Done drugs?: Nope. (Well, mostly.)
Broken the law?: I downloaded The Gray Album. Ooh, look at me, breakin' all the rules.
Run away from home?: Nope.
Broken a bone?: My fourth-grade crush accidentally broke my toe by dropping a huge concrete block on it. I never quite forgave him.
Played truth or dare?: Sure. A sleepover and bachelorette-party staple!
Kissed someone you didn't know?: Yup. But I don't know who it was!
Been in a fight?: A couple of times, but only one that I actually won . . . .
Come close to dying?: Not that I know of.
= WHAT IS: =
Your bedroom like?: Womb-colored, and still not entirely unpacked. It's going to be really nice when it's done, though.
Your favorite thing for breakfast?: Scrambled eggs with cheese - but they have to be really fluffy and light - and toast with butter, and tea, and delicious fruit. Mmmm.
Your favorite restaurant?: That Korean place that I don't know the name of (it's Kam something) on 32nd Street where my friends took me to eat barbecue for my birthday. Omigod, yum.
= RANDOM QUESTIONS =
What's on your bedside table?: My pill pack, a little white box full of earplugs, a lamp, my alarm clock, massage oil and The Joy of Sex.
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: Popcorn, almost always, or cheese and crackers.
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: I don't cry at movies, but for books, His Dark Materials makes me cry the sad tears and Main Street makes me cry the tears of frustration and anger.
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?: Liposuction. I think I'm gorgeous, but I wouldn't mind being gorgeous in smaller quantities.
What is your biggest fear?: Water. I am quite phobic, to the point of finding it almost impossible to sit through Finding Nemo. I can't even feel comfortable in the shower, let alone a swimming pool. In a less literal sense, I'd have to say failure. I don't cope well with failure.
What feature are you most insecure about?: The originality of my ideas.
Do you ever have to beg?: For mercy? Yeah.
Are you a pyromaniac?: Not particularly. I like a good roaring winter fire, though.
Do you have too many love interests?: Nope, just the one.
Crushes?: No, not really. God, I'm boring.
Do you know anyone famous?: Yeah - we're not talking rock-star famous, but I know more than a few famous academics, tech people, and new media artists. Fun fun.
Describe your bed: Big, warm, with a fluffy corduroy-covered comforter and a couple of kitties on it.
Spontaneous or plain?: Both?
Do you know how to play poker?: I'm really good at poker in theory - I can do the math to figure out whether a hand is good or not - but I generally tend to get carried away in actual play. I don't fold enough.
What do you carry with you at all times?: Wallet, keys, and that's really about it. In my backpack (which is usually with me) I also have lip gloss, my laptop, and a book.
How do you drive?: Fast and aggressively. Hey, I grew up in Boston, what do you want?
What do you miss most about being little?: Not much. I was spending 10+ hours a day in school from the time I was about six. My life has so much more freedom these days.
Are you happy with your given name?: Kind of. I'd like something a little less frou-frou and girly, if I had a choice.
How much money would it take to get you to give up the internet for one year?: $200,000, which would be enough to pay my expenses for a year (I use the internet to make most of my money), hire a research assistant part-time (so I could still write papers), and pay for all the books I'd read with the time I don't waste online.
What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands?: Depends on whether or not they're cute, same as with a straight couple. Nothing's ickier than PDA from an icky-looking couple.
What color is your bedroom?: Womb-colored. Really. The walls are a sort of deep peach. The furniture is dark wood and the various trim is a lighter shade of peach with some white.
What was the last song you were listening to?: "Waiting for You" by, you guessed it, Jess Tardy.
Have you ever been in a play?: No, but I wrote a play. Does that count?
Who are your best friends?: The Boy is my very, very best friend. Beyond that, I have a fair-sized group of people beyond that who I consider extremely close friends. That group includes some of my friends in New York - Rob and Rachel, for example - and some of my friends elsewhere, like Steve in Boston and Cat in California. I am really lucky to have more than just a few friends that I can trust like that, and it makes me happy that there are more people in that group than I can conveniently name.
Do you talk a lot?: Sometimes. When I'm in a talky mood, I'm the life of the party, but I'm more often relatively reserved. I also spend a lot of time alone.
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?: Like I said before, I'm working on that one. Yes and trying, how about that?
Do you think you're cute?: On a good day, absolutely. And everyone has bad days, right?
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: No, but I also know that I'm unrealistic about how nice I actually am and what the "nice" expectations are of a reasonable human being.