Part of what was making it so hard for me to write this paper was that I had managed to convince myself that my core idea was unoriginal and stupid. I got myself into this horrible state where I was too nervous to even do the research I needed to do to prove that no one else had written this particular paper already. I kept trying to write, and deleting everything I wrote because it wasn't good enough, and just, ew. So I emailed a friend who is more of an expert than I am, and he wrote back that he hadn't seen research on this topic, and so he gave me the confidence to just shut up my inner critic and write the damn thing. The moral of the story, I think, is that I need to be less hesitant about asking for help when I start spinning my mental (or emotional) wheels.
In other news, I am writing this on MY GORGEOUS NEW COMPUTER! I didn't realize how much my computer situation was preventing me from getting work done. Either the files I needed were on the wrong computer, or I needed a big screen up at school, or my back was hurting and I didn't want to be at my desk. Now I've got everything I need to work in one package. I've already written more since I got her than I have in the last month. There really is something about having the right tools for the job . . . .
The new computer needs a name, though. psychick had some awesome ideas last night, but names are Important (tm) and so I want to find out whether anyone has other ideas. My new computer is definitely female for some reason, though my past computers were male. She's slim, black-and-gray, powerful and I'm totally in love with her. I think I'm going to install some more software on her, finish my last midterm, and then figure out what I'm submitting to bneuensc's volume on RPGs, because I've been percolating that for about two weeks and I think I should finally have some workable strategies. Plus I get to work from home today. I'm quite pleased with life right now.